So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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