did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
