maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
