i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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