is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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