"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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