My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Screwed.edu
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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