It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
