operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
