Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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