I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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