I just made out with a guy for $7.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Someone came in the potted fern
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Randomize
