Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
