yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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