yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
