trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
