"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
