brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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