took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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