At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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