I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
