like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
