Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
