belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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