I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
