whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
