I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
