On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
