So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
