I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
