i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
