I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
