I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
