butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
