There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
