Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
