I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
