some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
