One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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