I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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