You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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