I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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