There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
