I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
