i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
