I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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