You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just had sex on a roof
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
