i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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