love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
