my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
